Allow me to introduce myself: My name is Hov. OH SHIT! Wrong paper. That's actually Jay-Z. My name(for the purposes of this Blog) is Ayatollah(I-uh-toll-uh) Nic....or Nic for short. I'm a man of many hats with such a large head that none of them fit.
I'm starting this blog because I'm a self important schmuck who thinks he is witty....and I'm on truth serum right now. I live in Mississippi.......I'll give you time to stop laughing..........go ahead....get it all out......and.......ok.
This blog(and I wish I had a different word for it) will touch on a lot of things, mostly because my attention span sucks and I forget where I was going with things a lot. I'll do a lot of the writing while my extremely fertile friend(he has something like 47 kids......he's Catholic), Irish Joe, does the graphics and contributes in other ways that I'm inadequate(like humping my wife).
I hope to have other people ghostwrite things for me because I'm probably gonna get tired of writing for you douchers pretty quick. I'll pay people a shiny nickel if they contribute in good ways through postings, comments or otherwise and have a couple of ideas lined up for this. I'll be in character for a few post and I'll allow my EXTREMELY unstable friends and family to post on random days to liven things up. They should all probably be heavily medicated or taken off black market medication just depending on which person you're talking about.....and I'm going to give them a soap box to stand on and rant while you all laugh and hope to never encounter anyone like them. Should be fun.
Until then, remember.......if you don't read my blog then you will end up just like your dad. I don't know what this means, but apparently no one wants to grow up to be like their dad....so read it asshole.
5 comments:
Wow, what a warm welcome. I'm all a'flutter.
Hold on here..."your comment has been saved and will be visible after blog owner approval?" Are you kidding me? You're gonna screen comments? That is some weak shit, Nic. I expected better. Grow a pair. Or two pair, like Washington.
Are you kidding me? My balls hang in the toilet when I shit. My balls have their own terrorist alert color. I guess what I'm trying to say is....my testicles are larger than most.
Must have been a default thing. Feel free to comment away in whatever profane and lude way you see fit.
Go ahead....call me an asshole or something.
You're an asshole, Nic. But in a good way.
MY BALLS ARE ENLONGATED!
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