We join these two recent fuck ups in prison, where they'll probably be for a while. Someone grab them a Snickers.
Jimmy Johns: I got them 2 for 5 purple tops. What you need? What you need?
Matt Jones: Uh....I'm wiggin dude. You got some blow?
Jimmy Johns: Yo man, we're in jail. BUT....I do have some of them kool-aid straw shits.....it's good for pretend.
Matt Jones: Balls. Holy Shit am I ever glad I shaved my head after leaving Arkansas. I'd be getting butt raped almost constantly with my old flowing blonde locks.
Jimmy Johns: Oh, you're still gonna get butt raped. It's just that instead of being like a tall Mandy Moore, you're gonna be a tall Sinead O'Connor. It won't be as good for the guys....but they're in a pinch.
Matt Jones: Son of a bitch
Jimmy Johns: Probably won't help that you played tight end. Lots of guys in here don't watch football. They heard that a "professional tight end" was joining us and just started Irish Joe'ing themselves in anticipation.
Matt Jones: What does that mean? Irish Joe'ing?
Jimmy Johns: Oh you don't know that shit? That's this blog. It means jackin' off. Some guy wrote an entire column about it. He's crazy.
Matt Jones: Must be from Mississippi
Jimmy Jones: Naw, but the other guy is....so maybe it rubbed off. No pun or whatever the fuck they be sayin in english class
Matt Jones: Well this sucks. Wanna play cards
Jimmy Johns: Spades. Batesville style.
[deals cards and plays for the next 7-10 years]
fin
3 comments:
Good article Nic..judging by IT's content lately we are prepared to any lengths to pursue comedy...lol
Hey Spook great work
hey B unban me
Damn it. I always forget to check the comments until 3 days later....then no one ever reads my response.
Thanks guys!
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